Working with 4 kids!

How do you do it?

One of the biggest things I hear when people discover I have 4 kids and work full time is "how on earth do you manage, I could never do what you do" and I find myself responding.......

"I have no clue.........."

Of course that's not true, I know exactly what it takes. But to explain it over and over again, to the faces that look upon me with a tinge of pity because deep down they know exactly what it requires too, becomes a little bit tiresome.

It's funny because I always wanted to work, I grew up where everyone around me worked and worked hard!  I wanted to make my children proud, to show them they can do it all and still be present in their family. 

Yes money cant buy your kids love or buy them time with their parents. But it can help them get a good start in life and provide a little bit of financial stability along the way.  

What my career did for me?

Having a career isn't just about money tho! Its so much more...

My career has been connected to my self worth and self esteem from the moment I realised I had to do more, I had to do better.  I didn't start out having the best self esteem, infact I was pretty insecure. (Fyi-still a working progress over here)  

When I had my first child I was very young! I didn't have any aspirations, goals or ambitions.  Its sad to say but at 18 I was very lost and suddenly found my whole life flipped upside down (in a positive way) when I fell pregnant. 

Looking back now at that time I realise what a big gamble I took having a baby so young when I had NOTHING!!!! But I have to say having my first baby changed everything......

My instincts to protect and provide for this little human went into overdrive and I never looked back!

It was a tough journey going back to school and getting myself a degree!  I studied for a total of 5 years before I managed to enter the work force and start my career, but along the way I really began to realise my worth.  

I had never thought of myself as someone who would go to university, that wasnt even on my radar to be honest.  I was always the average student, actually I was rebellious and didn't care about learning, I just did what i needed to to get good enough grades for college.  I never believed in my self that I could achieve anything and therefore why bother trying.  

But having my son it bought everything to the forefront.  I was so young, I had nothing and I ended up on government benefits to get by. That was not good for the soul, I felt so low and so judged.  I couldn't bare it and new I had to do better, I had to be better and so I signed up for a college course and never looked back......

As I grew up with my kids by my side I realised just how important it was to me that my kids had every opportunity available to them. I had to dig deep and figure it all out on my own but they deserved better....

Being a working mum to me has been one of the biggest challenges of my life. Initially when I started out I was in my work groove and  balancing everything perfectly.

But as time went on and I was lucky enough to be blessed with two more children, something had to give..........and that something was me! 

Returning to a full time job when you have a small baby is by no stretch an easy decision.  It sent me into a state of the most intense anxiety I've ever experienced.  

I felt torn between the need to provide and the need to nurture.   I cried alot during the first year back, I felt crap at my job and crap at being a mum.  All that confidence and self esteem i had built from my career was now being eaten away by the very thing that made up such a big part of my identity.

But after that year came and went there was a shift.

1st week back 

Suddenly, my persistence and sheer determination to keep going started to manifest change within and I found a sense of something new emerging.   

My passion and enthusiasm for my job began to re-emerge! And it was joyful ......

Let's be real 

There are times now, 8 years in and 4 kids down where I have moments of longing to be at home tending to my kids and making that my full time job! But honestly, working and having a career is part of who I am and I cant apologise for that!  

Finding balance is hard and you HAVE to work at it!

There are a few things I think are super important to do when you are trying to balance alot;

1. Be real, know when you have had enough and you need to take time for self care.

2. Practice mindfulness, I love guided meditation and walking. Clearing your mind when you can is so important to protecting your mental health!

3. Dont shame or guilt yourself. Be kind to you and give yourself time, you can always make changes along the way. 

Being a mum gives me life, its changed my life beyond recognition but I'm more than mum and that's okay too!  

Peace & Love xx