Love yourself, dont punish yourself...

Why is it that so often we end up putting our own needs and desires on the back burner to ensure everyone else is okay? 

We neglect ourselves, then justify it by saying that these sacrifices are necessary because we don't really matter compared to others...

No offence but what a load of rubbish! 

How are we suppose to be good to anyone if we don't take care of ourselves without feeling a sense of shame or guilt for doing so?

It has always perplexed me this notion of self neglect and self sacrifice equating to being a better mother, better partner, better whatever cos you think its the right thing to do 

It's a lie...(in my opinion)

I'm no expert in taking care of myself so don't miss understand, I definitely fall into cycles of poor self care and find myself getting stuck in a rut, I think that's normal for a lot of people.

But I do not, and will not apologise or feel guilty for the times that I indulge in taking time for myself!

Whether its meeting with my girlfriends to have a cheeky bottle glass of wine or going out for a walk on my own, getting my hair done or having a pamper night! 

I think whatever it is that you do for you is so important, in fact its essential.

Of course sacrifices need to happen there is no denying that, we've all been there, but why punish ourselves with feelings of guilt for simply taking care of ourselves and showing ourselves love and compassion! 

Self Compassion

A few years back I faced some real challenges with poor mental health!

It escalated quickly and manifested itself as anxiety often triggered by the most unpredictable things.

It was during this time and seeking therapy that I was introduced to the idea of self compassion.

Up until this point, self compassion was not something that had even been in my orbit! 

But my therapist told me to check out Kristin Neff, specifically her website self-compassion.org

The website offers some really easy to complete self compassion exercises which I personally found really useful at a time where I was really struggling to give myself  a break!

Setting good intentions 

When you start your day, do you ever stop and think about how you intend to approach it? 

No....

Me neither, but we should!

I've tried it a few times, particularly when I know it's going to be a challenging work day. 

I tell myself things like "today I will stay calm and make sure I listen". 

It might feel a bit daft at first but honestly, taking a few minutes in the morning to have a tea and think about how you want to approach your day  can make all the difference. 

I don't have time...

Yep, me neither! I've always been one to moan about not having enough time to even sneeze let alone care for myself.....

But that's not ok, and just because everyone else does it, or this is what you have always done, doesn't mean you cant change things! 

Time is subjective and how you choose to use it is up to you! 

But if I can leave you with one last thought it would be this, 

You are worth that time, you deserve to unwind, have your own time, your own passions and things that make you you without any feelings of guilt or shame!!! 

So let that all go today and start showing yourself love and compassion and I will do the same! 

Peace & Love